Justice!

So, driving home on 220 tonight, I noticed that traffic was moving ungodly fast. When did I notice? Right about the time that I merged on at 70 mph and was almost run down by an Explorer going at least 80. (Note to non-State College residents: 220 is posted at 55 mph.) So, I thought it was probably best to slow down, as I assumed that there would be a cop out by this time of day with so many speeders. Lo and behold, three miles later, there sits the little piggy behind a knoll. Now, I’m still ‘following’ a group of cars going at least 75, barely tagging along and the cop doesn’t pull out for any of us. However, as I was exiting about a mile later, there was very suddenly a huge, black BMW 750Li riding right up into my ass.

At this point, I saw the squad car flying down 220, lights in a frenzy. “Wow,” I thought, “what does someone have to do to get his attention tonight?” Meanwhile, BMW, with his disgusting, middle-aged man at the helm and NJ plates, is so far up in my car, I’m having a conversation with it in the passenger seat. Finishing the corkscrew of the off-ramp, I’m getting fiercely annoyed by Mr. Bavarian Motor Works and his surrogate penis.

But then! Then, there was justice. The red and blue lights appear several cars behind, and quickly move up. Who could be receiving this special attention? Was it me or was it the gigantic black sedan that somehow managed to be tailing me even though it hadn’t been behind me for nearly five miles?

The fucker so got pulled over moments later. I smiled and cruised the rest of the way into town, feeling lighter than air.

Oh, yeah. In other car-related news, Ms. Helga has now hit 14,000 miles. You may send congratulatory gifts care of me to my apartment. Thank you.