Two words: new vacuum!

Say hello to my new Bissell Lift Off Turbo! Yes, bitches, this thing is turb0-charged cleaning. You can tell by the metallic red finish and the italicized decals that adorn its body. (Actually, I think the Turbo refers to its TurboBrush attachment, which is not pictured.)

So what makes it so special? Well, it’s bagless and uses the much-hyped “vortex” system for cleaning. It has suction for miles. The wheels don’t fall off, like with my old vacuum, and you don’t have to unplug it to turn it off. Two major pluses. Also, it has the single coolest feature I’ve ever seen…the one that garners the “Lift Off” title: you can take the canister with you! The core of the vacuum – power cord, hoses, collection chamber, attachments – is fully detachable so you can just lift it off and take it to the stairs, bathroom or car. Yes, car. I don’t have to drag an entire contraption down from the third floor to the parking lot anymore…just the part I need!

UNBEARABLE EXCITEMENT.

I used it tonight. I had just cleaned with the ol’ Kenmore on Thursday. The Lift Off clicked and whirred all over my apartment and, when all was done, the collection chamber had a satisfyingly disturbing half inch of dirt at the bottom. Thrilling.