Today’s word is ‘retardulous’…

I can’t really even begin to explain just how frustrating my commute was this morning. See, I had to take Tigg to her crazy cat home for shots and spaying this evening and I had to do this before work at nine. Also, I had to drop Nate’s ass off for class at the Walker Building. So, I got to experience a longer stretch of 220 than usual (read: more fuckasses blocking the left lane at 60 mph) and all of Atherton (read: the parade of red lights.) To top it off, students have decided that this is it! This is the year that they will no longer be shackled by the inconvenience of looking for cars before they cross the street. They had already thrown off the oppression of crosswalks, so now they can finally take flight and enjoy a life unconstrained by their own safety! I’m glad I got to be at the epicenter of the dawning of their Age of Aquarius, or somesuch.

Finally barreling through to Park Ave. and on my way to the parking lot – which, incidentally, is on the complete opposite side of campus from my office, closer to where I dropped Nate off – I encounter some sort of waste spill on the road. This wouldn’t really be an issue since it was in the parking spaces/loading area by North Halls, but a police barricade with four squad cars was blocking the intersection adjacent to the spill. Now, most normal people would just continue one more block to the next right turn and then circle around…but, ho-ho…not the people in front of me. No sir! They are far too special in their tan, wheat and champagne SUVs. They must all block the entire intersection to ask the police officers if they can “maybe, just this once, make an exception” so they can turn through the impassable barricade. The look of utter contempt on the police officers’ faces when they disappointed the behemoth-piloting motorists with a “No, in fact, you cannot pass through the (potentially) toxic waste” was enough to keep me from running any bitches over.

And now I’m at the bus stop in the rain. And this is where my life starts flashing before my eyes. You see, Penn State decided that the first days of class would be the ideal moment in time to change the bus stops and, therefore, bus routes. So, the bus drivers are now hopelessly lost and horribly confused. The woman driving my particular Blue Loop of Doom had decreed that the best way to deal with HER new route would be to drive as fast as bus-ed-ly possible while taking every corner at full steam. Since she was clearly trying for a land speed record, she hadn’t the time for stopping the bus and thusly missed letting three people off when they pulled the cord. How we didn’t hit any of the cars that we were poised precariously on the edge of slamming into, I do not know, but I definitely thought on at least three occasions “Okay, this is it. I’m going to die on the Loop today and there is nothing I can do to change that.”

I wanted to kiss the floor when I stepped into my office, knowing that the ground was no longer moving under me and that I was safe from any more travel-induced mishaps.

*spent*