Honestly, squirrel, why are you looking so smug?
An item I forgot to mention!: The name of this design shall henceforth be known as Florence: End of Days, Sunrise. That is all.
Have you ever found yourself sitting on the couch, holding the remote for your televiewer, absent-mindedly flipping through the channels when the thought “see what’s on MySpace” pops into your head? Do your fingers frantically stab at numbers on the keypad before your brain makes the connection that you can’t, in fact, google “Chinese nuclear power” on this device? I’m not sure if this makes me strange, marks me as an interwebs addict or is a sign of what technology should become. Hopefully all three.
In music: Yeah, I’m listening to Ghostface Killah with my over-40 coworker, Brett, in the room. What are you going to do about it? I mean, really.
I wake up
And the day feels
Broken
I tilt my head
I’m trying to get an angle
‘Cause the evening
I’ve always longed for
It could still happenHow do I master
The perfect day
Six glasses of water
Seven phonecallsIf you leave it alone
It might just happen
Anyway“It’s Not Up to You” by Björk
I think these lyrics are telling me something pretty important. What it is, I’m not sure, but I do honestly believe there is a lesson there and dammit all – I’m fixin’ to learn it! Actually, that’s an interesting statement. I’m also trying to figure out some fundamental things about Nick right now. Chief among these is why I don’t feel like I deserve for anyone to be nice to me. Why don’t I want gifts or help and why can’t I take a compliment? Socially, too, why is refusing a compliment rude if you honestly don’t feel as though you’ve earned it?
Danger: much pondering ahead.
Talked to Lindsie last night and I’m happy to report that she’s doing really well in her new city. I knew there was a cosmopolitan girl in there (probably a Cosmopolitan and a rum & coke, too.) Now, if I could come up with a justification for being her butler in a one bedroom apartment…
if only you could understand that you deserve far more than all of those things…
that you spend your time doing much more than that for everyone around you…
and even if you can’t see the wonderful qualities you posess or can only see that people mistreat you, at least know that you are making a huge difference in the lives around you, and everyone appreciates that more than they will ever be able to express.
the world would be a dull place without your wit, charm, and compassion.
Thanks, Sonya. I do really want to believe that people think that but then in the back of my head, I just expect them to disappear or deliver me a blow when I’m not looking.
But, seriously, the point of this post isn’t to get a cheerleading squad together for me. Still appreciated, though. 🙂