Today’s rant: parking in Chestertown
I parked my car this morning on Mt. Vernon Ave., as I have been doing on and off for at least the last year, maybe year and a half. Every day I see at least four other cars that belong to coworkers from the college or students parked in the same area, from about the stop sign at the intersection with Campus Ave. back five car lengths towards Kent St. Never do we get a ticket here.
Except for today.
Thus, the helpful diagram that I pieced together after calling the parking attendant to question what the issue was that required a $25 fine.
Confused? So am I, really, but I’ll try to break it down for you.
Evidently all of Mt. Vernon Ave. is a solely residential street. Since most of the residents on Mt. Vernon Ave. are retired or old and wealthy, they don’t need to actually leave their homes to go to work ever. So unlike most places where residential streets are empty except for people that work nearby during the work day, Mt. Vernon is always full of cars. Theoretically. In practice, I’ve never had any problem finding at least one space towards the campus end.
Which is where things got weird. The parking attendant informed me that everyone who parks on Mt. Vernon without a pass (where do you think we are, Chestertown?) should get a ticket but because she’s being kind, she has established a “Zone of Leniency” that includes a box with a corner missing.
I was parked in the missing corner. (In attendant-speak, I guess this would be the “Zone of Pain.”)
The corner is missing because the guy that lives at the house with the unused driveway I was parked next to pays for a parking pass. To park on the street. Instead of in his driveway.
I ran out of room in my diagram and just drew me blocking the driveway in the hypothetical situation. Actually, I was not. So, even if he had chosen to park in front of his unused drive, he still could have gotten out. Further, his stupid freaking car was parked behind mine and I see my coworkers park exactly where I was without a ticket day in and day out.
Long story short, I got the attendant to void my ticket and waive my fine, but this is ridiculous. This is not an urban area. There is plenty of parking. There’s no need to walk more than a block even if you have to park away from your house. And all of these Mt. Vernon Ave. people have driveways. So why are we being so fucking arbitrary about the streets in the daytime hours? And charging $25 for a first offense?
Get a grip, Chestertown.
Or, at the very least, perhaps you can put up some signs or paint some lines to explain the Zone of Leniency to those that don’t live in your attendant’s head?
This is hilarious. Seriously. I have gotten a ticket for parking EXACTLY where you did. In the Zone of Pain. And I happened to walk up on Creepy Meter Maid (as I like to refer to her) giving me the ticket, so I asked her to clarify the boundaries of the Zone of Leniency, which she did. On the left, you have until the end of unused driveway #1. Anything after that is apparently crowding out all of those retiree/nanny parking spots that have become so coveted. On the right, you have until (direct quote)”the end of the line of pine trees. I wouldn’t let any of you park there at all except that the owner of those trees came out once while I was writing a bunch of tickets and told me to stop, because he was some kinda judge or somethin’ and didn’t want you kids getting tickets when you park all crazy.” I told Creepy Meter Maid that maybe it should be clearly marked as to where these invisible but apparently very real boundaries are located, and she, in an act of total defiance, just turned on her black hightop Reebok and walked away. So there you have it.
Oh my god, I got the EXACT same lecture when I pointed out that the lines should be marked to her and got the verbal equivalent of a turn on the sexy orthopedic Reebok. I guess we’ll never be worthy of making commentary on the ins and outs of meter maidery (meter maiding?) in Chestertown.