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Cars

No Peeing in the 7 Eleven

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7 Eleven Can Suck ItIn order to actually stay awake on my drive today (as with any drive to or from Maryland) I loaded up with massive amounts of coffee and soda. And laws of nature then dictated that I’d have to piss like nobody’s business at least once during my six hours sojourn. Wouldn’t you know, the only gas station I found when it came time to exit the roadways afforded me a 7 Eleven.

With no public restroom.

Now what exactly is the point of this? I can understand that it must be annoying to have people popping in to pee without making any purchases, but how many people are we really talking about here? I know that if I have a real choice, I’m not going to stop into ANY gas station to use the restroom, so at least from my end, these are only acts of desperation. Plus, clearly there is SOME sort of bathroom facility because I highly doubt the employees are holding it all day. AND, it’s not exactly like I’m going to be defiling the classiness of the freaking 7 Eleven.

Back into the car I went, totally enraged (and not just in the bladder-department,) now in search of ANY place to relieve myself.

And that’s how I used the restroom in the Lifestyles Fitness and Wellness center – a private gym somewhere off of I-695W. I give it five stars.

Quinceañera at the MVA

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Oh, readers, this morning was magical. Kate and I drove to Easton, MD to get her a brand new Maryland state driver’s license. At the MVA. Because, unlike the rest of the freaking country, it’s not a DMV. Oh, no…in Maryland, the MVA is an establishment where licenses are given, driving tests are administered, etc. You can see the need for a unique name.

Name aside, the MVA is in Easton, which is approximately 45 minutes away, so it’s exceptionally convenient to just pop on by. Being that it’s a decent haul to get there, Kate rightly visited the MVA website to learn what materials would be required for the state-swap. The verdict: two forms of ID, proof of residence, old license, checkbook. Basically, all the bases were covered before we departed.

We arrived at 10:30 and were greeted by a lovely banner that encouraged us to visit the MVA online to complete our service request more conveniently. There was a sense of certainty in the assembled materials. There was also a feeling of 1996 brought on by the lovely decor of the MVA office. We were certain Janet Reno would dropping by in practical shoes to dial in to the Internet at any moment.

Friends, a trip to the “MVA” or DMV really allows you to wade deeply into the mainstream of your fellow Americans. And it’s simultaneously frightening and delightful. We shared a bench with the most incredible pair of ladies with gorgeous feathered hair. A snippet of their conversation that caused me to double over with laughter:

Woman: “If you don’t take care of ’em, they’ll accuse you of being a bad parent. It happened to me once.”

Kate & I: *intense snickering*

Woman: “…I live by route 50 and I just let ’em out. It’s not like they say “I want to go get hit by a car.” How are you supposed to know?”

Kate & I: *totally dying*

Of course, while all of this is going on, we have essentially an entire Latin American village surrounding us in the MVA. I mean, I can understand coming with your some of your family or consolidating trips. But sweet god: there were grandmas, nieces, aunts, pregnant ladies, dudes in work boots. It was like a damned quinceañera up in there…but with no cake! Honestly, every time I turned around, there was yet another person standing, sitting or kneeling beside the family of five that had started out sitting on the bench in front of us. To make it even more interesting, one of our Spanish-speaking friends decided that her turtleneck sweater was too much to handle and had her friend/sister/cousin tear the collar off. Right off…right there in the middle of the MVA! The assembled herd of children then proceeded to jostle for the right to hold the discarded sweater neck. So much so that the “father” had to escort the neck and at least two kids outside. Seriously.

Truly amazing. I turned to Kate and confessed that I was only worried I wouldn’t be able to remember all of the amazing things I saw to talk about them when we left.

And we left much sooner than we had imagined, even with an hour and fifteen minute wait. Because, it seems, the MVA decided to change their licensing requirements to include TWO proofs of residence and only one form of ID. They just hadn’t published them online yet. So, when Kate’s number was finally called, all the woman behind the counter could give her was an apology and a brochure of the new requirements.

In a rage, we hauled ass to Starbucks and then took our Starbucks to Wendy’s for twice the consolatory fast food.

Finger on the pulse of a nation

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Jalopnik has created a helpful guide to the douch-iest drivers in America…and what they are driving. The United States of Automotive Douchebaggery! Now, before you travel, you can check to see what cars you should look out for in any given area. And here’s a helpful hint you can take to the bank: all of the drivers in Maryland are likely to be terrible, regardless of what they are pushing!

Pins & Needles

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For awhile now I’ve been quietly dealing with a nihilistic quality in the very core of myself. Maybe I was consciously aware of its presence and maybe I wasn’t, at least not entirely. This little voice deep down inside has been there, always causing me to negate the value of things I really want to hold valuable. For example, I may think “Man, that is a truly beautiful Mercedes…the lines, the color, the presentation of the design language!” but my personal Nietzche will then counter with “Think of the resources depleted to build it and the money required to buy it…it’s destroying the world! How dare you care!” I get really, really excited about art and design and purpose-built beauty – but then find myself feeling guilty because of the impracticality of these things, or the attention they may draw away from what I perceive to be bigger concerns.

Of course, some things fall outside of this sphere. Love, friendship, family, humor, sadness, sex, achievement and learning are just a few “pure” elements that cannot fall victim to my analytical dissection. They do, though, occasionally get lost in the silt clouds as I muddy the waters with near-constant mental struggles.

How sad, right? How utterly ridiculous…how arrogant to think that it’s my sworn duty to worry about “the BIG picture” at all times.

Well, enough is enough. I can’t be rid of my nihilism – indeed, I think it’s probably one of my most important characteristics, one that creates a tension that’s extraordinarily valuable for viewing my world – but I can decide that some things are worthy of passionate exploration, devotion and interest. I think I’m going to start listing these things as they come to me and I’m not going to allow myself to question them.

Today’s items that matter are:

  • “the future” – as thought of by people who believe in rocket packs and jet cars
  • German automobiles
  • sustainability in the realm of the environment and the economy (not separable anyway)
  • games
  • the technology that confounds and defies what we expect – even when Apple is being evil
  • the sense of calm that comes from cleaning my apartment
  • a new pair of shoes
  • traveling someplace new and exploring on foot, in no particular direction, just because I want to
  • the first steps into a museum that I’ve never visited before
  • painting, even when I’m crap at it
  • listening to a new album and finding the hidden lyrical gems that will make me smile every time I hear them
  • designing something that’s wholly mine – and being a pain in the ass to protect it
  • spending the whole morning in bed and then eating a totally pancake-filled breakfast and drinking way too much coffee
  • watching an Almodóvar film and marveling at the wicked plot twists and character quirks
  • a straight row of just-planted grapes – or even a crooked one

Since I’m at work, I should probably stop and, you know…work. But, this list had to come out this morning while it was still fresh and felt important.

Frankly, I feel better already. 🙂

¡Ahora con espacio para mas humanos!

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I’m entirely in love with this advert for the new Ford Ka that’s running in Spain and various other countries that a) have clever advertising and b) have Ford cars that don’t suck. I’ve now watched it about fourteen times. I really think I should probably hang it up with the whole “being human,” what with my love for Cylons and now furry, man-eating monsters.

Anyway:

Car Update: waiting for my lease end edition

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Alright, friends. I went to Dover VW/Audi/Subaru (?) today to have Klaus’s oil changed. While I was there, I think you can guess what I did. I test drove the object of several years of lusting, the Audi A3 2.0T. I was not in the least disappointed. In fact, I’ve fully committed myself to making this my next car:

Barring any major changes of heart between now and the end of November (when I have to place my custom order,) I’ll be in a 2009 Ibis White A3 by this time next year. 🙂 What thinks you, readers?

The car search has begun (or: the car search continues unabated)

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Readers, you know me and cars. You know I am nearly always in search of my next one. Save for the first month or so that my current car is in my possession, I am on a never ending quest to get more airbags, more speakers, and more air conditioned storage compartments (fun fact: the Jetta has two!)

Well, since March marks the 1 year to go mark with my current lease, we are hitting a fever pitch! I’ve been steadily reviewing the offerings of both Japan and Germany, trying my damnedest to narrow down the options. So far, I’ve been doing a very good job, but for some reason, I seem to have hit a wall.

Therefore, my loyal friends, I turn to you for your thoughts and opinions. I will present you with the options and you can comment. It’s a very easy game, you see. Perhaps I’ll make this a monthly thing (as you see, dear readers, the automakers are even more dedicated to confusing me as I am to unraveling their product lines and are always expanding.)

To make it easier, I am breaking down by country of (supposed) origin:

  • Japan
  • Germany

You see my predicament. So many sexy choices but only one can come home to live with me. 🙁

Dusty already knows this, but…

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I totally saw a Smart ForTwo driving the streets of Chestertown this week! It was the most adorable little thing I’ve seen in recent memory. Not the gorgeous citron color that I fell in love with during European excursions, but still a pleasantly sunny yellow/black combination. It really, really looked SMALL in comparison to the other cars on the road, but only in length. The height of the car was comparable to a Beetle and it didn’t really seem that tiny in our oversized American lanes. Granted, there was no Ford Expenditure bearing down on it at the time, but I thought it looked pretty at home.

Jalopnik shared this fun piece today: Smart Presents Art Project, American Apparel-esque Marketing Strategy. An art project to launch a human-scale car from the other side of the Atlantic? *swoon*