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Emo-est Point East of the Mississippi?

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And all you see is where else you could be when you’re at home
And out on the street are so many possibilities to not be alone

The flames and smoke climbed out of every window
And disappeared with everything that you held dear
But you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn’t need
Cause you knew you were finally free

“Your Heart is an Empty Room” by Death Cab for Cutie

The scene: Me, lying on my bed, listening to Death Cab…knitting…as the rain comes down…and my cat naps beside me.

Could this be any more emo? I don’t think so.

It’s a contemplative kind of day here in my apartment. I’m all done with everything I had listed for the weekend. Freelance is finished, the plants are watered, the laundry is clean and away. Floorplans for Hannah’s new kitchen are drawn, a pick up is scheduled for my computer and my phone is finally working with Gmail’s mobile app. So now what do I do?

No one is around. Even Nate’s away, having gone home for the weekend. I could drive to State College and see what Mike’s up to, but I like to pretend that I don’t need that town for just a few days. And it’s really wet. And frigid.

Not that it’s EVER any warmer in here.

Will I ever get out of this place? The job I had applied for in Pittsburgh didn’t work out. I know, honestly (thanks for the reminder, Dusty) that I don’t really want to live there. But it’s not here. At this point, that’s all I can really hope for. Just to not be here.

I think it’s most frustrating that this is all my life goal has been reduced to for the time being…

In short, I’m going to Iceland next year…

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We live on a mountain
Right at the top
There’s a beautiful view
From the top of the mountain
Every morning I walk towards the edge
And throw little things off
Like:
Car-parts, bottles and cutlery
Or whatever I find lying around

It’s become a habit
A way
To start the day

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

It’s real early morning
No-one is awake
I’m back at my cliff
Still throwing things off
I listen to the sounds they make
On their way down
I follow them with my eyes til they crash
Imagine what my body would sound like
Slamming against those rocks

When it lands
Will my eyes
Be closed or open?

I go through all this
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you

“Hyper-ballad” by Björk

Oh yeah…

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…I went to Pittsburgh over my ‘weekend’ with Sonya and Britanni. We were mainly there to go to Warped Tour (here, let me save you the trouble: WARPED TOUR IS GAY! THOSE BANDS SUCK!) but we also spent some time scrubbing down and delousing the pair’s new apartment. It was a whirlwind of activity from Wednesday night until I arrived back at my home yesterday evening, but a lot of fun. The concert itself was actually enjoyable. I didn’t know who most of the bands were, there were thousands of annoying little teenagers and disgusting ‘punk kids’ and it was about the same weather as a fetid armpit…but the overall atmosphere was very nice. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits, even security. AFI put on a really good performance (again, to help you out: AFI SUX!) and I discovered that I really like a few new bands, most notably HelloGoodbye. I think I had more fun just talking to my fellow travelers, though…both at the show and during our adventure.

I’d definitely go again.

Not sure what they say…

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…but these lyrics caught my fancy tonight:

Ca y’est c’est reparti je me divise en deux
Je suis toute a la fois l’acteur et le décor
Je ne sais ou je vais ou jamais le saurais-je
Je ne vais nulle part mais a toute de vitesse

L’haleine des camions le soleil alienant
Sur le toit du Bancroft building a Montreal
Les filles a moitie nues je pense a toi souvent
les filles complètement nues ca me fais toujours mal

et puis je reste la les gens me semblent heureux
si tu savais souffrir je m’en porterais mieux
tu recevras ma lettre déchirante et déchirée
les larmes de non retour de la chienne à creve

“Retour a Vega” by The Stills

A barbecue by smell alone…

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Just returned from an evening stroll through Bellefonte. The scent of grilled burgers was mingling with the humid, floral air all throughout town. Visitors were sitting in familial gliders on Victorian front porches. And I walked alone with my iPod, the young guy that no one knows and everyone forces a smile at while making sure their kids are not too close. Ah, to be a part of such a community…

These lyrics struck me as great while waiting for the bus today:

It’s better to be dumb than smart and fall apart.
Have meat and potatoes than starve for your art.
It’s better to let her than fall in the dark.
With every day better, here comes my part.

It’s better to be alone than lonely in the dark.
Watch 10,000 movies and learn all the parts…

“It’s Better” by The Incredible Moses Leroy

I stopped at Mike’s before my walk and grabbed Good Night and Good Luck and Why We Fight, which will compliment Syriana nicely when I finish it tomorrow. It is indeed better to be alone watching 10,000 movies. Or at least three when it’s sweltering outside and you have the day off.

The Devil Weards Prada

Speaking of movies, I saw The Devil Wears Prada last night and it was absolutely très magnifique. Naturally, the clothes were perfectly put together from start to finish. Meryl Streep was flawless, as always…dishing out more bitchitude than even Death Becomes Her and doing a great Anna Wintour. The plot was a little dumbed down to reach mainstream sensibilities, but Anne Hathaway keeps her character far enough out of the stereotypical to pull things together nicely at the end. I’d give it a solid 8/10 and thoroughly recommend you plunk down the (at least matinee) price for a ticket.

A story I know…

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Did we create a modern myth?
Did we imagine half of it
would happen in a thought from now?

Save yourself
Save yourself

The secret is out
The secret is out

To buy the truth
And sell a lie
The last mistake before you die
So don’t forget to breathe tonight
Tonight’s the last so say good-bye

The secret is out [x4]

Good-bye [x17]

“A Modern Myth” by 30 Seconds to Mars

Listen to a sample.

Current music obsession…

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And if you’re hurting
I will replace the noise with silence instead
Flushing out your head

If you like it violent
We can play rough and tumble
Fall into bed
And I won’t breathe so you can recover

Learn More

8 Days Later…

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…and I’m back. I just spent the last five days of my 8 day break from Centre County at the New Media Consortium conference in Cleveland. Until I arrived, I really considered Cleveland to be a complete void. I mean, it’s the Midwest. There can’t possibly be anything there. However, the Crocker Park shopping center in West Lake (first stop) quickly changed my mind. I spent a ton of money on clothes and got to hit up Trader Joe’s…all on foot. Fantastic. The NMC closed down the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame for us to have a party, I attended a gallery opening at MOCA, hung out at B-Sides in Euclid Heights with Brandon and got to tour The Cleveland Institute of Art…where I’m applying for a job tomorrow. I mean, like any city, there are ghettos and littered streets…but it’s a city. And that equals wonderful in my book.

So…the conference itself was actually a lot of fun. I attended some interesting workshops and hands-on sessions. I learned that Aperture is one of the best programs Apple has released in a long time. Hannah and I won a gong for presenting about the Studio at “Five Minutes of Fame” and then schmoozed like fiends at the reception after. Met all kinds of interesting people from literally everywhere imaginable. Yep…good stuff. A+ Will Attend AGAIN.

Now I am home. I took about 145 trips up and down the stairs tonight, glared at my landlord, cleaned my car and my home and now I’m fighting off the sleep. It’s going to be a losing battle, that I can assure you.